5 things on my mind: No, Joe Buck doesn't hate the Cardinals

Thoughts on the Cards next homestand, missing friends, a movie on Netflix for you, and Craig Berube's new gig.

Thursdays are like a day-long version of gym class, especially if gym class came at the end of the day. Friday is so close, so you just push and push through the day like there’s warm gravy at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes, it’s a long stretch. Other times, time could sprint. I’m finished delivering, picking, and forever learning plumbing supplies. It’s time to unwind with a few things on my mind, including the people that think Joe Buck hates the Cardinals.

Barrett Media

~He lives here, made his name here, and will be joining Chip Caray in the booth on May 24 for a Cards-Cubs game. Yes, he likes money like the rest of us, but he doesn’t necessarily have to work at the moment. He calls football games, hangs with his wife and kids, and basically exists. What I don’t get is the common rumor that he hates the Cardinals and shows it on broadcasts. Well, being that you HAVE TO be neutral on a national broadcast, I would say he was great at his job. A week from tomorrow, I think he’ll show just how much he loves this team.

Jack is a legend. The Bucks are a stable in this town. Joe has crafted an incredible sportscaster career in two wildly different sports. He called the last pitches of the past two Cardinals World Series wins, and plenty of regular season games back in the day when he was getting warmed up. The Freese call will live on long after we’re gone. All those insane calls such as “we will see you tomorrow night” live on as well.

If a man hates a team, Buck does it pretty quietly. Before you yak about him not sounding as amused by St. Louis winning the World Series in 2011, it’s because he couldn’t speak too loud due to a paralyzed vocal cord. Stop creating false drama, and get ready for a treat next week. For one night, overly excited Brad Thompson and all about me Jim Edmonds get a night off.

~If you need a good, wholesome drama with some great acting, don’t pass up The Judge on Netflix. Robert Downey Jr. and Robert Duvall play an estranged son and father whose relationship is bound by a courtroom, with the former being a hot shot lawyer and the latter a renowned judge. When Duvall is accused of murder, his son steps up, against both of their wills, to represent him. This isn’t Oscar territory or A-grade cinema, but a solid film that serves most if not all ages. Like a starter who isn’t an ace, the movie throws enough strikes to make a dent--all due to the ensemble. It’s better than just another true crime series.

~Bill Paxton would have been 69 today. The underrated actor put together a roster of roles that achieved the versatile, eclectic stage of acting. He had a hit television show, a monster hit in Twister (which is getting a sequel this summer), and so many roles in a long list of genres. He died during surgery to repair a problem with his heart, a scary scenario any time someone goes under the knife. Paxton could spin a great lead performance, but he was so good in supporting roles that allowed him to mess with the star. Thinking of him teasing Arnold in Terminator and then True Lies, along with being the pestering military commander over Tom Cruise in Edge of Tomorrow, remind me of his sweet spot. Rest in peace, Bill.

--While we’re at it, I can’t help but think about my late friend, Troy Siade, when people who should still be here just aren’t. Troy died when he was 38, twenty years ago this spring. He got to a game in the early season, like a fan bidding farewell to a game he adored. Troy loved baseball, Jim Edmonds, giving our supervisor shit, chirping anyone in striking distance, and being a diehard friend. He wasn’t just the life of the party; he was the room, floor, furniture, fabric, and energy of the conversation as well. He made all of us better, and got shit for time on this Earth.

At the end of the month, I am getting my third tattoo. Two words, very simple and direct. No hero shit with the shading or color. FUCK CANCER. That’s it. Print it. A big part of the reason I am getting this tattoo is due to losing Troy. He would be in his FIFTYS right now. He’d be 58, mad as hell, keeping J. Crew sales alive, and roasting this Cardinals team like a marshmallow over a forest fire. What I would do to get a night out to the ballpark with my friend, Troy. Rest in peace, brother. Cancer, go fuck yourself.

~Could the Cardinals season rest in peace if they have another bad week? Mathematically, not at all. Realistically speaking, I’d say it’s a vital series, even for May. After being slapped around by the Brewers and being unable to complete a sweep over the Angels, they’re 18-25 heading into a homestand that sees them take on the Red Sox, Orioles, and Cubs. Boston is 22-22, but bolsters strong pitching. Baltimore is second in their division with a .669 winning percentage, while Chicago is 25-20, good for second in the N.L. Central. The Cards aren’t in Kansas anymore, running into the rugged bluntness of a balanced schedule.

That makes any comeback harder and harder, lacking those pockets of games against Pittsburgh and Cincinnati. Then again, this Cardinals team would have problems with those teams. This isn’t a good team, a point driven home by the esteemed Bernie Miklasz in his Thursday column for Scoops at Danny Mac. Facing a bad pitcher and team, the Cards couldn’t capitalize. They could have come home with a winning road trip and some momentum, but once again failed to sweep a series.

The Red Sox, Orioles, and Cubs have a very good chance of breaking this team, like Bane broke Batman’s back in The Dark Knight Rises. Afterwards, the hero had to rehab in a cave very far away. I first suggest hauling John Mozeliak off and throwing him in that same cave, because this is his mess that continues to underachieve. For the first time in his tenure with STL, Mozeliak is the orchestrator of a truly bad team. Tyler O’Neill could deliver the first blow by launching a Miles Mikolas offering to Ballpark Village. Watch the dumpster fire begin.

Or, the Cards could fight back and do something about the bad start at home, over the course of the next couple weeks. You may not make it to the playoffs, but stop being a disgrace. Tell Oliver Marmol to stop pointing fingers at his own players to the press, because that’s BUSH LEAGUE work, Oli. Tell the players to do their fucking jobs.

One more thing, a bonus “thing on my mind,” since this will become official on Tuesday…

Congratulations, Craig Berube. He will be the new head coach of the Toronto Maple Leafs. A boatload of talent just received a general of a leader, so their soft asses better be ready. Unlike their last coach, his name doesn’t sound like a cute dog name. Berube prefers saying “fuck” a lot of times between periods to get his team going. Austin Matthews, Mitch Marnie, and the other Leafs are getting the guy who brought a Stanley Cup to St. Louis-their first in organizational history, a period lasting over 50 years. Well, it’s been 55 years since Toronto brought home the ultimate trophy for a summer.

If Berube pulls that off, he’s a legend. I’m sad he isn’t the Blues coach anymore. Rough start or not, with no offense to Drew Bannister, I don’t believe in the “he’s not reaching the players” rhetoric that spread around after his firing. It wasn’t his fault Jordan Kyrou couldn’t pull his head from his own ass or the rest of the team sleepwalked, but the head coach always goes first. The Maple Leafs got a stud. Let’s hope Professor X’s brother has real chops once Kyrou needs his diaper changed.

Thanks for reading and have a damn good weekend,

DLB