5 things on my mind: Oliver Marmol's faulty game management, Carp's birthday, Mac's burger, and an awful MLB rule
A few things sizzling on top of my brain at the moment.
I like the non-hot parts of St. Louis weather, or as a truck driver would refer to them, “disgusting mornings.” Those two-to-three shirt shifts where the armpits, lower back, and middle chest are already dripping before the sun comes up. Right now, the spring is in actual spring weather mode, though. Temperatures don’t escape the 70s, the lows are swell, and the late evenings become breezy. The kind-of hot, cool, and cold months are my favorite. The HOT AS FUCK moments are despised, but thankfully haven’t arrived just yet.
Without further delay, here are five things on my mind. That’s a literal statement, not just a fun topical headline. The beauty of these quick-moving posts are to expand on what’s currently sitting on the tip of my brain, the ideas that won’t leave. If something becomes irrelevant, it’s deleted. Just a reminder that this shit is important… for the most part. Let’s get into it. But first, consider subscribing. This one will be free, but others may not be.
#5 Oliver Marmol still screws up close games
Young managers manage bullpens after the seventh inning like a woman manages a fart for the entire first date: delicately with a precise restraint. Most stink at the notion of knowing when to throw this guy and when to throw that guy, but some succeed. I don’t think St. Louis Cardinals manager Oli Marmol belongs in that latter group yet.
Since people are called by their first names in whole when something is done wrong, I have a beef with Oliver. Maybe spend less time messing with your facial hair, and call up other managers to ask for advice. You could just let the beard grow a little before carving a fiber sculpture into your cheek, and remember that throwing relievers for over three innings in a bullpen capacity means you forgot about the rest of your pen.
One could suggest that Lance Lynn only went five innings, but I don’t remember him boycotting the mound in the sixth. No, that was Marmol pulling him. Lynn had given up a home run and put two guys on base, and that was enough to fire up the pen. Wrong. While Ryan Helsley may have been unavailable or just not up yet, you can’t run Matthew Liberatore out there for more than three innings.
Liberatore took over in the eighth inning, escaping a jam and helping push the game to extra innings. After getting the first two outs in the eleventh inning, there was trouble. Due to the dumbest rule in sports-a runner starting at second base to begin an inning-Harrison Bader tied up the game with a single. The next batter homered. Game over.
Now, while pushing a reliever who is really a starter past two innings isn’t a bad idea, there’s risks to that position. Bader smacked that single before Mark Vientos hit the 2-run homer, as in rifling a pitch to center. While Liberatore could be seen as cruising, only stacking up a pitch count in the low-30s before the two consecutive hits, he’s on a reliever workload.
Having someone, anyone, ready to face 24-year-old Vientos, a bopper in the minors who owns 11 career homers in his first 83 MLB games, would have been wise. It’s not a huge gaffe, but another example of a young manager forgetting that he had arms down there to use. If you don’t trust them, send them down. It’s as easy as downing a glass of Jordan Walker potential, Oliver.
#4 The runner at second base to start extras rule is awful
Words don’t need to be minced, but it’s a terrible rule. A team gets a runner in scoring position in the tenth inning before a single pitch is thrown. In the latest episode of “Rob Manfred should take a hike or grow some balls,” it’s a short attention span maneuver and not something to save a bullpen. Get it over with, so people don’t tune out. I say fuck those people who don’t have patience for baseball. Believe in your sport.
Win or lose, it’s a handout of the ugliest order. A participation trophy act. Something to hang the hat on after reaching extras. Just reduce the league to points and give each team a point like the NHL. Or, as some smart Twitter (it’s that name eternally, just like Riverport) followers of mine pointed out, install that rule after the 11th or 12th inning. Before a game can get ridiculous, give the advantage. Just not right away.
#3 The most annoying thing about dogs
They bark at everything! Try getting food delivered, aka placed on the top step of your home, without the three tandem security team blasting their speakers at the poor delivery guy. I hear it when I try to edge towards a customer’s home to inform them that they have plumbing supplies, and I get to stand in front of them when anyone approaches our door. The need to bark is stupid and useless.
Imagine stepping outside and shouting at a person for no reason. You don’t know them, like or dislike, or even think of them. But now, there must be shouting! That’s dogs and barking. Frankly, it’s dumb and one of the few reasons not to own a dog. Why so constant?
#2 Happy birthday, Chris Carpenter
The former Cardinals ace turned 49 this year, which is still a reasonable age for him to make a surprise comeback with a new nerve in his right arm. That’s the only thing that kept this boss from pitching a few more seasons. His beginning was mangled due to shoulder injuries and Toronto player mismanagement, but Dave Duncan found and cured his problems. What climbed the mound for all those years in Cardinal red was one of the most intimidating pitchers I’ve ever witnessed.
It’s not just about being big and tall. Carpenter was mad as hell. He hated the other team on that day, becoming disturbed by a walk or a mishandled groundball. He was raging out there, bringing all the passion of a soccer player to the pitching mound. He screamed, barked, shouted, and hurled like no other. Without Carpenter, the Cardinals don’t reach the 2004 World Series, or win the 2011 World Series. He pitched like an assassin from late August through October during the last title win season.
#1 Mac’s Local Eats owns one tasty burger
Sunday, a day after working ten hours of overtime, I enjoyed lunch at a St. Louis staple. If you’ve been to town and missed out on Mac’s Local Eats, fix that next time. Currently located where the St. Louis Blues used to play their games off Oakland, they offer a burger that Jules Winfield would approve of. Carrying a dry-aged beef combo that strikes the right balance between juiciness and flavor without weighing you down in greasy oil. After eating at one burger joint, you could have used my blood to change someone’s car oil.
Mac’s doesn’t fuck around, going for the essence of a good burger. With no offense to another place I enjoy in town, this place doesn’t OVERDO the concept or notion that a burger carries to a consumer. Good tasting meat, a toasty and complete bun that doesn’t disguise the meat, and cheese that acts like a getaway car after the first bite. It was so good, I could have eaten two triples. Yes, I am a big guy and can put away food, but the burgers aren’t overwhelmingly huge either.
That’s a compliment. A big one. The quality of a burger shouldn’t sit next to quantity, or even close. Tasty big burgers are harder to pull off, and usually disguised by an overabundance of bread. Mac’s cares most about the meat’s flavor, a sage choice by the owner. To say I’ll be back is an understatement. I never met a smashed burger I didn’t like, but Mac’s Local Eats’ offerings are worth being stalked.
I’ll be back there, and back here next time with more commentary that you may find useful if you’re a baseball, hockey, movie, television show, food, music, or general life musings fan.
PS. Manfred could at least oust the two most hated and worst strike-calling umpires in baseball: CB Bucknor and Angel Hernandez.
The extra inning rule is an embarrassment. It’s the biggest reason for my rapidly waning interest in baseball. I’m not going to sit and watch a game for 2-3 hours only to have that time completely wasted with a silly, fake ending just so some multi-millionaire man-babies can avoid doing a bit of extra work. I just don’t watch baseball as much and on several occasions I’ve turned it off if it was tied after nine.