5 things on my mind: The Cardinals' panic button, Berube’s landing, and 'The Holdovers' free on Prime

May 10 isn’t a time to check the standings, but the Cards lack a pulse.

The St. Louis Cardinals haven’t experienced back to back losing seasons in decades. We’d have to run back to 1995 to find a true string of bad baseball around here. That’s what the current team and their leaders are up against: the idea of success and what it means for an individual team. In St. Louis, winning isn’t just expected; it’s demanded.

Think about the seasons over the past 15-20 years where the team didn’t make the playoffs yet finished with a respectable record that laid the groundwork for new hope the following season. The uproar wasn’t there, but it’s grown to a high peak these days due to the truly bad baseball. Without a stud like Albert Pujols or a beloved icon like Adam Wainwright to disguise the badness, all of it has rushed to the surface.

When do the Cardinals push the panic button and start firing? It’s not happening this week or next, but the end of May is when the assessment takes place. Once you clear two months on the season and the team is ten games worse than .500 or pretty close, it’s time to fire coaches and shake the trees hard.

A team can only tread water for so long before change needs to happen. And that change should include the trade of a big bat and salary. What do Nolan Arenado and Paul Goldschmidt really want to do here? Spend a few more seasons languishing in this sinking ship, or get out and win elsewhere. Like several others before them, a bet on them suddenly flourishing on another team is not a far-fetched idea. The culture around Busch Stadium is as stale as the bread that gets forgotten in the pantry.

Fans aren’t showing up to see them play. They want to see wins. That is what fuels the baseball fever around here. Arenado and Goldschmidt aren’t doing it.

If you do make big changes, please don’t shuffle the coaches or let go of a Major League coach or two. Do some firing and trading. Sell at the deadline. Fire Oliver Marmol, because his message or philosophy isn’t reaching anybody. He looks like a man exasperated by managing, and it’s only May 10. Fire Turner Ward and Dusty Blake too, especially since you’re sending players down to find tutelage on a lower level. Their methods stink, so replace them. Isn’t this a business at the end of the day, Mo?

John Mozeliak was going to retire after the 2025 season anyway, so go ahead and send him out to pasture too. Give him a new role for the rest of his contract, like laying mulch or baking cakes for slumping hitters. Find out what Randy Flores can do with more responsibility, because the drafting is getting better. Find out what Michael Girsch does exactly, and go from there.

Trade Arenado and/or Paul Goldschmidt. Slumping or not, I don’t see the team retaining the latter slugger after 2024. Get something for him, and plant Luken Baker or Alec Burleson at first base. Change doesn’t happen with your hands parked under your ass. But there’s a proper time for it, and I think the end of May is it.

What else is on my mind as the work week dies? Let’s get into it.

~I find the Craig Berube sweepstakes fascinating. Everybody around the NHL loves and respects him. He took the Blues to their first Cup, and then they canned him four years later. The Toronto Maple Leafs, Seattle Kraken, Winnipeg Jets, and the San Jose Sharks all could use his services. I think the prestige of Toronto clashes with the pressure it’ll bring, but imagine being the guy who gave St. Louis their first and the Leafs their first one in decades? Legend. Blues beat reporter Lou Korac put together a nice ranking of the possible landing spots for Berube.

I personally miss “Chief” a lot. He was a tough coach who brought a team of misfit toys together and then ran into some bad luck and team deterioration. Suddenly, Jordan Kyrou whined and got his way. Anyway, I hope he goes somewhere and finds a lot of success, even if some of it comes against the Blues.

~You know those roundabouts at the end of neighborhoods in the county? I sure wish for two things, being a delivery driver with a morning route. First, please make them bigger and wider for box trucks. If people want fancy plumbing supplies, pulling into their “no outlet, no shit” hoods shouldn’t come with a nerve-end frying remedy upon leaving. Second, don’t park cars in those areas, because it kind of defeats the whole fucking purpose. If people thought more about others than just themselves, even in small moments like this, we’d be in a better shithole than the one we’re in.

~A quick thing for the old drivers out there: Ten and two doesn’t mean you get to go 10-15 mph below the limit. I understand that surviving a pair of World Wars and Vietnam, including a surplus of crappy Presidents, can take its toll. But please, give some time to the thought of matching the speed limit. Life runs a hard course, pushing us around most of the time. I have respect for people who stuck around against the odds, except when they wish to tell stories very close to my face or drive in front of me like the road ahead is on fire.

~The Holdovers is available to stream on Prime Video for free. This one is for all the film fans who don’t prefer action or superheroes causing joy and harm at the theater. An unconventional Christmas drama with just the right amount of humor, Alexander Payne’s irreverent tale stars Paul Giamatti and Dominic Sena as private high school teacher and student, stuck together over the holiday break on campus against their liking. Slowly but surely, they thaw each other’s icy exterior and find a silver lining, with the help of Da’Vine Joy Randolph’s kitchen manager. It sure is a genuinely good time, filled with heartstring tugs and laugh-out-loud humor, watching them find their way.

I’d watch Giamatti in just about anything. Quietly one of the world’s best actors, and he keeps getting better and better. That’s possible, even with a thespian of his caliber, by continuing to pick the right roles, put in the work, and connect with strangers.

Have a good night, folks. I’m spending it cruising St. Louis city and county with the old man. The newly minted 70-year-old still has some moves and jokes of his own. Friday night is a time for relaxation and utter lack of responsibility.