5 Things On My Mind: The Rock meets Scorsese, breaking up with donuts, and Bill Burr ruminations
Saturdays are for coffee, relaxation, and contemplation. Let's get into it.
There’s nothing quite like delivering plumbing supplies in zero degree temperatures. The chill in the air gets replaced by a glacier finish that makes glove-covered hands still feel like they’re being chased by a blade runner. You’re breathing colonies of air out of your mouth and taking even more back into your chest. The back, knees, and shoulder all prepare to sign a non-disclosure clause before retiring. Whatever can go bad is going bad in your head before the delivery.
The only thing that wasn’t cold were my nerves. Union, Missouri is the farthest stretch of turf I’ve traveled to deliver in my two-plus years with Crescent Plumbing Supply. You have to snap yourself out of a mild stupor during that kind of hour-long drive. Radio can only provide a certain level of distraction. Your mind has been made up. Until it’s over, the delivery won’t leave the living room.
As I pulled up to the owner’s gate, all I saw was snow-covered roads and… more snow. The few inches had doubled up in Union, at least when it came to initial looks. But one always underestimates the tool or vehicle they’re using every single day. My box truck crumbled the dry, puffy snow underneath it. I barely made it through the narrow gate but found myself turning around near the top of their drive, which I couldn’t really see.
The only thing left to do was unload a cast iron shower base that suddenly looked even more intimidating. It all got done and delivered, no injuries or fuss. There’s the likelihood of coming down with a cold on the horizon, but that’s adult life every day after 40. All the difficulty in my day job can be divided by the toughness it requires and the shorter-than-expected list of folks who could get the job done.
That was one thing on my mind. Here are four more for the Saturday lazy crew to chew on before the night (and temps) fall again.
~The Rock and Martin Scorsese will make a movie about a Hawaiian crime boss together and it’s not a joke. Years ago over the Dose, I wrote about Quentin Tarantino throwing Dwayne Johnson an acting life vest after his Black Adam bomb and downturn in box office hits. Unless it was attached to existing IP, like Moana and Jumanji, it wasn’t clicking and the big guy needed a change of pace. Seeing a heavyweight like Scorsese take a gamble reminds me of the sage help he provided a struggling-at-the-time actor by the name of Vincent Chase back in the day.
Along with this and the upcoming Benny Safdie/MMA drama, The Smashing Machine, Johnson now has a fine staple of different projects coming down the pipeline. He can do action and comedy in his sleep and has that widespread appeal, but has room and an age bracket now to reapply himself in different areas. Teaming up with Scorsese doesn’t mean an Oscar is coming his way. Respect is already on the way.
~I can’t do donuts. Growing up in south city made loving donuts easy with Donut Drive-In and the rest of the lovely-smelling carb factories. Every Saturday morning I come home from the parents house after a hang with the old man, the allure of grabbing donuts is there. I haven’t loved donuts in quite a long time, but one or two here and there still had some worth. Mostly, they’re for the teenager. This morning, though, a chocolate/cinnamon twist donut started calling my name.
After being stashed in the microwave for an hour, it couldn’t stopped reciting, “Dan, oh Dan, come on over and have a bite of me, you big dumbass.” So I did, consuming the entire pastry inside 60 seconds. You do funny things on the days you’re not on the work clock. The twist ripped through me, making me feel as if a dozen were eaten. That’s getting older for you in a sad nutshell. One donut starts feeling like 6-12. Circle of life and it’s not that beautiful. I’m sticking to Swedish Fish and cherry sours.
~Nancy Meyers needs to make more movies. She’s 75 years old so I get it, but I want what I want. Put your Eastwood joggers and direct. Please. The premise doesn’t have to be complicated. A pair of odd ducks cross paths, bicker, joke, and eventually fall in love. Sprinkle a nice soundtrack on it and some inspired casting. Watching Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton spar in Something’s Gotta Give, Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin go through the rigors of falling back in love with your ex, and a cozy Robert De Niro work as an intern for Anne Hathaway.
Gather it all up and shoot it into my veins. She deletes the machoism and estrogen easily in her films, eschewing useless jargon for tales of realistic human interactions. There’s witty banter and good dialogue involved, but it’s all extra comfortable. You never feel any weight watching it. Go get yourself some Meyers, folks. I think she’s checked out. Her last anything was a short film sequel to Father of the Bride five years ago and the De Niro/Hathaway breeze was ten years ago!
~I won’t talk politics in this space, but I’ll extend the wise Bill Burr some kudos this afternoon after his well-intentioned rant on his podcast this week. He talked about how crazy it is that people with decent-paying jobs that work a full week still have to go get second jobs just to live a modest life. Burr adds that while we all argue conservative versus liberal, the government and powers that be are soaking everyone dry. He’s far from wrong and his quote was posted by Fox News, even if it was at least halfway a shot at Republicans and the orange man in office right now.
I’ve said it for years. The Purge movies aren’t as fictional as people would like to assume. If the government had their way, we would be given a single night per year to trim down the population. It would be a quicker death than the millions slowly dying at the hands of health care corporations that don’t need a President to hurt people. They’ve been doing it for decades. Remember that they want us all to die, because it would lean out the herd.
Don’t overdo it and let them win. Find some peace for yourself. This life isn’t just for work.