A few words about Presidential debates

In a nutshell, they're stupid and meaningless. But people love drama, so they continue.

Anyone with half a brain knew last week’s debate between Donald Trump and Joe Biden was going to be a shit show. Grade-A porta-potty crap. Biden tripping over answers and losing battles to Father “bed” Time soaked all the attention up, even if Trump just spun lie after lie after lie. Biden’s chance to stomp on every long-winded round of crap out of his opponent’s mouth allowed the incessant nature of our country’s demise to go on, at least in the chat rooms.

Debates suck. They’re stupid and meaningless. If you think Barack Obama showed the same courage under fire on a nationally televised stage that he did in those war rooms of the Oval Office, you’re a sucker for drama. Debates solve who is a faster talker and can handle softball questions in front of a crowd. That’s got little to do with being a President who carries the fate and direction of a country on his or her shoulders.

You could have taken down Trump in that debate. Give my dad three glasses of Guinness, and it’s over. The crazy aunt with conspiracy theories could have taken him down while mixing a batter of brownies. I could have defeated him by responding with “you’re a big fucking liar” and then simply read off the facts that would have denounced every point “T.N.T like dynamite” Donny said. They were there, and Joe just missed them.

He had a bad night, such a rough one that there are rumors he could drop out of the race. As an 82-year-old man who may want to use some of the rest of days for himself, who could blame him? I do think he can beat Trump again, but it’ll be hard and the public needs more than sleepy Joe.

But we put so much stock in a dog and pony show. That’s all the debate is, and ever will be. Recording a private debate and then showing the public later would be a better idea. Each guy will take the national stage, and use it as a reason to insult the other. They rarely answer the questions, and it solves nothing about policy, change, and all the other goodies that actually mean something.

Debates are a movie, like a maddeningly real episode of the Blair Witch Project. They’re loud and boisterous, like a sauced up uncle at a holiday party. When was the last time anything meaningful was pulled from a debate? Obama is a great speaker, so his debates were entertaining but everything that came out of his mouth didn’t really change a policy or move the needle. It was for show.

My wife tells me it gives the public a chance to see them under pressure. I get it, but this isn’t pressure. It’s show business pressure, big lights pressure, stage pressure, etc. As I mentioned earlier, Obama didn’t need to show any courage in his debates. I read up and knew enough about him to vote. That’s all it takes. A little fucking homework.

But no, let’s watch another debate! We’ll sit there and laugh in the moment, but quietly squirm and then scream about the two guys that were picked to be leaders. I wish there were better choices. I know a debate will tell us little to nothing. Biden could come out and have a great night, but people will still bring up the first one. It’s like a boxing match trilogy. A third debate will be needed to have a tiebreaker, even if nothing is really at stake in one of these arguments.

It’s never civilized and practical. It’s a fine idea, like the drive to get fast food. Once eaten, it’s a regret. Every debate sounds good on paper until it comes to fruition. Leaders don’t reveal anything new on a stage. Policies don’t change there. Countries don’t improve. The real moves are made far above us.

If you want to get worried about something, worry about the Supreme Court basically granting Presidents partial immunity to past crimes and future convictions. That’s a doozy, not a couple old guys barking at each other. The only thing missing on that debate stage last week was coffee and donuts.

Thanks for reading and Happy Fourth of July. Don’t set off too many fireworks, because every dog and cat in your area fucking despise it. What’s fun and American to some is like a war zone to them.