Buffa's Buffet, Vol. 57: 5 things on my mind
This Just In! Skip Bayless is still a shithead.
A good while ago, I stopped watching NFL games. The overall desire, coupled with the Rams leaving St. Louis, left little passion or upstart in me to cut out 3-10 hours of my Sunday to a sport that doesn’t care much for its players.
That was on display last night when a Buffalo Bills safety, Damar Hamlin, collapsed on the field after taking a big hit to the chest. CPR was being applied for two television breaks, and the league could have stepped right in to suspend or cancel the game. It wasn’t long before Bills and the home team, Cincinnati Bengals, were huddled together with many players having tears in their eyes.
Hamlin was taken to a nearby hospital, and sedated in order to put in a breathing tube. His vitals were looking better late last night, but he remains in critical condition. All of this is awful and sad, and the only thing making it stink more is the delay in the league in calling a game that few were fit to continue, and Skip Bayless opening his mouth.
The human sports ashtray had thoughts on whether or not the NFL should call the game. If you don’t know who Skip is, try to think of any loudmouth sports voice on a television and his name should come up.
He dances around the fact that there’s a part of his mind thinking about the conclusion of a sports game. With a man’s life hanging in the balance, it’s the last thing on the minds of the Bills, Bengals, and just about everyone who saw the play unfold. Except for good old Skip.
Sometimes, less is more on social media. I am speaking from experience.
Hamlin wasn’t the only notable name in sports and entertainment that suffered a terrible injury that has caught the scope of the world. “Avengers” and “Mayor of Kingstown” actor Jeremy Renner suffered traumatic injuries in a snow plow accident near his home in Reno, Nevada.
Renner regularly plows his own snow by his home, and posts videos and notes on the experience on his social media channels. Thanks to a neighbor on New Year’s Day morning, Renner is still alive. The snow plow reportedly ran over his foot somehow, and he lost a lot of blood. The neighbor, who happened to be a doctor, applied a tourniquet to Renner’s leg to stop the bleeding, and he was then airlifted to a nearby hospital.
While it confirms that large machines can always be dangerous, the Renner accident is saddening news. He was more than likely clearing the snow for his kids to play outside, and suffered an accident. Unlike Hamlin, Renner is in “critical yet stable” condition. High-paid actor/athlete or regular fella, all the good souls need to make it home okay. Pulling for these two men.
Lifting the mood of this buffet to a higher place won’t happen with the discussion of the St. Louis Blues, but let’s try anyway. With the injuries to Ryan O’Reilly and Vladimir Tarasenko, the prognosis on the season grows more dire. What’s becoming clear is that it’s a retooling or rebuilding year, one that GM Doug Armstrong has to carve out trades and acquisitions without much wiggle room in the cap.
Finding trade partners, even for the injured Tarasenko (out four weeks at least) and O’Reilly (six weeks before reevaluation), is going to become a real deal. Don’t let the thought of a second half comeback roll into your mind. Can you see this current team pulling their shit together like they did four years ago? Most likely not.
The 2018-19 team wasn’t as injury-depleted, rough on special teams, and doesn’t have a goaltender change happening anytime soon. There isn’t a spark, or a bolstered roster to sort out and find hidden value in. That was an assembly of studs and role players that figured it out by this point in the season.
The current Blues team will not have that magic. Expect changes this season. There was time, and now it’s running out.
A few more things to ponder as the world waits to hear if Carlos Correa’s contract with the New York Mets is going to be voided like it was with the San Francisco Giants. There’s something in his medical records that has scared TWO teams in the past two weeks.
Finding an open place to eat on a holiday can be a lot less tricky than the Correa contract, but still an adventure. Such was the case for my wife, sister, and dad on Sunday. In two different cars rolling down Hampton Avenue, we were searching for food like scavengers in the woods. This is where you park in one spot, realize it’s closed, go screaming to dad’s car to stay in his vehicle, and carry on to the next possible spot.
J.J. Twigs was closed, El Paisano wasn’t answering, and La Catrina lingered. The latter choice was pressed, and Mexican cuisine was enjoyed. By the time it’s over, the things you remember are the hijinks related to a meal instead of the actual food itself. The interactions, confusion, minor hysteria, and overall back and forth that happens on an eat-out night.
Fun fact about margaritas and me: I’ll know right away if it’s going to be a four glass night or a one glass night. Overall, they’re good and the tequila gets the job done faster than most adult soda, but there’s a breaking point for me. If they’re made too sweet, I will bow out. If they’re stronger and don’t contain extra sugar, I can drink a pitcher easily.
I can drink beer anytime, and that usually goes for whiskey/bourbon. If it’s a single barrel or small batch, that’s a variety of booze that you want to be careful with. A few sips of that after the threshold is reached, and you’ll be talking to the neighbor who usually drives you nuts. You’ll respond to every email you have, but not in the fashion one would desire.
Here’s what I desire? Naughty, unconventional movies that don’t have an award-winning desire in their bones. Take “Deep Water” for example, a Hulu Original movie that wasn’t beloved upon its release last year. Ben Affleck lives comfortably in his “Gone Girl” mode here, playing an extremely patient *yet possibly volatile* husband who allows his wife (Ana de Armas, melting ice cream again) to have affairs.
Picture a big house party, and Affleck’s doting yet quiet husband is pouring his second drink as de Armas’ flirt gets hot and close with a male guest. It could be someone she knows, or just a new boy toy to have a little fun with. What’s not known at the outset of the movie is what happens to the lucky (or unlucky) fellas after they have some fun.
Affleck is an underrated actor, and it’s the roles that allow him to stretch into unsure/mysterious character mode that bring out the greatness. Leading roles like “The Accountant” or “The Way Back” still contain some “Fleck” charm, but “Deep Water” lets him break bad. Is he killing the boy toys, or is something else happening to them?
The direction and writing aren’t noteworthy, but seeing where a film goes in wild and darkly fun directions will always get a watch from me. It wasn’t worried about awards or scoring high on Rotten Tomatoes; it’s old school dirty, if you know what I mean. Now, it’s time for a quick word from our sponsors:
Announcement, since we’re talking about movies. Starting this month, ALL of the movie commentary will move here to the Substack newsletter from Dose of Buffa. Future movie reviews and articles, for the time being, will now post here. The Dose remains active and will be used for a links dump on occasion, but the desire to have ALL of my writing in one spot is too hard to pass on.
If you haven’t gotten a clue yet, I love to write. I am addicted to it. If I don’t write, the day doesn’t feel wholesome and complete. I have 29 paid subscriptions and 194 total subscribers, so the trend of 2 for free/1 paid article will continue. I’d rather keep the subscription fee of $5 monthly to remain the same, but what could change is what is free and what is not.
To be continued, but know that all of my written work will exist here… unless I get a long-form writing gig, or Substack implodes.
What we learned today is that
Thanks for reading.