Buffa's Buffet: 5 things on my mind, including a few words about Matthew Perry

Also, how much will the new movie, Five Nights at Freddy's, make parents drink?

Welcome to Buffet Edition 96. This isn’t everything on my mind, but the most cohesive and fresh takes from the Princeton Heights news desk. Before we get into what’s up there in the mad brain, let me put out a disclaimer.

A big soccer game is happening for St. Louis City SC tonight. The first playoff game for the expansion franchise may give some the inclination that I have an opinion on the matter, or that a glimpse of commentary would take place. I got nothing, folks.

I watched part of the free game that Apple TV Plus put on last weekend and found myself getting sleepy, unable to connect to the sport. For the same people who find baseball too boring to commit to, my problems with soccer are the same. I just can’t get into it.

Still, go City SC. Kick ass, and score more than the other team. The Chiefs already lost today. If the soccer team loses, there could be rolling sports riots across the state.

Is Five Nights at Freddy’s for kids, adults too, or nobody at all?

Walking in blind to a movie that looks like a kid’s movie but turns out to be a psychotic riff on lost kids finding retribution in animatronic creatures is something. My son had been waiting for eight years to see this video game reach a big screen adaptation. All I could think about was poor, sad Josh Hutcherson in the lead role of a movie called Five Nights at Freddy’s; it’s not exactly playing a concert at Six Flags, but it’s not the highest mountain for an actor either.

But it’s not a bad movie, especially when you consider the source material and audience. The lasso hasn’t been thrown towards a horse that is sprinting away, if you know what I mean. My attention span wasn’t held at gunpoint, and I didn’t escape into the theater next door to get a second look at Martin Scorsese’s new movie. The cast knows what movie they’re in, and the running time doesn’t overstep.

Will it be on a lot of “Worst Movies” lists in two months? Sure. Is it a true waste of time for a parent whose kid is living inside the W.T.F. material? Not at all. You don’t have to rush out and see it, but there’s worse ways to get out of the colder St. Louis weather. Just ask Vinny Buffa. Two thumbs up!

CARDS-less playoffs brings out scornful fans

Few things get a rise out of Cardinals’ fans more than a former player doing well for a playoff team. Outside of eating and sleeping, Adolis Garcia just seems to be winning huge games for the Texas Rangers. Jordan Montgomery is the ace at the moment, and Garcia is winning games with his bat.

Cards fans licking their wounds from a 71-91 season are tired of it, grabbing onto any tree that screams outrage at the front office for letting Garcia walk. He left. Montgomery was traded. Michael Wacha and Lance Lynn, two pitchers still bringing it, were allowed to leave. Have you heard of Randy Arozarena? I bet you have, since everybody whines about him too.

I get it. When your baseball team talks big and *usually* wins a decent amount of games, it can be easy to forget they have only won a single playoff series since 2014. The problems behind this team’s demise runs deeper than a single player, or even a handful of guys. It’s a talent-evaluating philosophy that has run amok for quite some time.

Root for Garcia, and for San Diego next year when Mike Shildt manages Wacha to a playoff spot. Exes are never easy to watch thrive elsewhere, but you raise a glass and wish them well anyway. For the 2024 Cardinals, the best revenge is progress.

Billions chose a crowd-pleasing finale over complexity