Buffa’s Buffet: Arnold's heyday, Tyler O'Neill's future, time's grip, and Doug Armstrong's job status

5 things on my mind as the weekend sets its feet.

Live from Princeton Heights, a 41-year-old man with a few things rattling around his brain. Five to be exact. Let’s get into it, subscribers, aka people who don’t mind handing over an email for an honest opinion.

5) Commando still rules

1985 was a very good year for action fans. As the white hot fumes of Rocky IV and Predator cooled, Arnold Schwarzenegger delivered a 91-minute pork steak of delight with Commando. The guy spends the majority of the film in one outfit, including a green Henley. Before Dexter Morgan made them infamous, Arnie killed 124 guys while wearing one.

The real time aspect and an allegiance to mayhem drives this Austrian-beast bus. A young Alyssa Milano is living a calm and happy life with Ex-Special Forces and widowed dad, John Matrix. Good guys show up asking him to go back to work, and he says no thanks. Bad guys show up and shoot up his home, kidnapping his daughter.

Matrix kills a bunch of dudes and looks like he worked out between each kill. Great stuff, available on Amazon Prime and Paramount Plus without an extra charge.

4) Thank you, Max

Yes, the name stinks and I still refer to it as HBO Max. But let me say this about Time Warner, Warner Brothers Pictures, and the newly-merged Discovery as well. They don’t charge extra fees to watch their product. Unlike Apple TV and Amazon, as well as Hulu and others, Max allows their subscribers to watch everything.

Their controversial decision to simultaneously release the heart of their 2020 lineup on their streaming service and in theaters wasn’t beloved in the industry for obvious reasons, but subscribers had to like it. Watching Dune at home endlessly following its release had to be nice. For consumers, this was a huge win.

Don’t get me wrong. Amazon Prime has its virtues, and a deep roster of FREE entertainment. But they can get you for a $6.99 or $19.99 charge, whereas I have never paid extra for HBO Max.

3) Tyler O’Neill won’t make it here

St. Louis and the Muscles from Canada are heading for a divorce. With the arrival of Jordan Walker after a Memphis stint and several other outfield candidates looking stronger and more consistent, O’Neill is going somewhere else. Granted, it’s not official nor is it even a rumor at this point. But count it as a steel-plated prediction.

The man can’t stay healthy long enough to figure out if his 2021 eruption was a fluke, or actually something real. After another injury-plagued season last year, O’Neill didn’t have a particularly strong spring. His 2023 season isn’t something to write home about. His age and trade value will dwindle.

Don’t cry too much. Most players come and go, and not as many thrive for long after leaving St. Louis like some seem to think. Matt Carpenter’s magic died last year with a broken foot, following a lovely connection with Yankee Stadium. Jason Heyward didn’t become a hitting savant after choosing Chicago. O’Neill’s problems won’t go away, even if a new team gives him 140 games.

Can he play 140 games in a year? I doubt it. Health provides insurance for a team to invest long term in a player. O’Neill’s IL stints provide little assurance of health. Bye.

The superb Bernie Miklasz lays it out much better here.

2) Time is a speed demon

Anybody else thinking the clock is moving like Usain Bolt lately? On Jan. 6, I was fired by Drive Social Media. In three days, it’ll be six months since that bittersweet day. I remember everything about it, too.

I walked into work around 8:30 in the morning, and my team had their daily meeting where tasks and ideas were discussed. Soon after, I was called into an office and quickly told that this would be my last day at Drive. The following fifteen minutes now seem like a ghost walk through the two floors. Hugging pals and saying goodbyes, summing up work relationships and a final face-to-face in mere minutes.

Driving to Shaw’s Coffee on the Hill, planning my script for what was going to be told to the wife. It was like preparing a speech to say point blank to a tsunami. Thinking back on that day-mixing it with my new and MUCH BETTER day job-I will admit that life works in darkly humorous ways. It’s aided by time, its unbeatable henchman.

There are times where I feel like the days liquidate too rapidly, and months bleed out into quarters of a year. My son turns 12 in about three months. Twelve! He’s getting taller, forging a stronger personality one day and decision at a time and pretty much becoming a teenager. I can’t take enough pictures.

I can’t be the only one who feels like life is a ride that holds no guarantee--like attending a theme park carrying rides with no promised happy ending. It’s wild to sit around and think about, and it does float into my brain. Keeping mortality thoughts out of that head is nearly impossible. Finally…

1) Doug Armstrong isn’t going anywhere

Sorry, Maple Leafs fans. The rumor has to be bullshit. There’s just no reality where Armstrong leaves Tom Stillman and the St. Louis Blues right before a franchise-altering draft shortly ahead. Two first round picks, and Dougie is going to bolt for Canada’s most deadliest job title? Forget about it, folks.

He’s only four years removed from a Stanley Cup victory, and doesn’t have a bad roster to rewire for one or two more legit runs. Solve the defense and sign a roughneck third/fourth liner Tyler Bozak/Patty Maroon hybrid. Jordan Binnington and Joel Hofer are your goalies. Jordan Kyrou and Robert Thomas are your Blue knights. Brayden Schenn is your rock. Colton Parayko and Torey Krug are unfortunately the children who aren’t moving out anytime soon.

But Doug isn’t leaving. He wants another Cup. Honestly, the guy doesn’t seem like a guy who is ready to move to brutal fucking cold Canada, leaving a team with some genuine talent still glued to the gumption factory. This draft could change things.

That’s all for now. The pool is open and my wife is suddenly wearing less clothing. Time to depart, ladies and gentlemen.

Oh, one more thing! I left Twitter. What should feel like a rough breakup after 12 years together really feels like a burden off my shoulders. There’s a chance I may just become a replying maniac there. Posting original tweets feels like I am handing over my thoughts and opinions to the Zoo, and not the lovely St. Louis one. Responding to friends and cool followers may be in the cards. We will see.

For now, it’s here and Facebook. Cheers to the weekend.