Here's what you need to Know: 'Let it rip' Fridays
Welcome to Friday, the day of stress. Pay day, final school day of week, projects due, bills stalking the house, and the grass length reaching Tom Cruise’s knee high. There’s a lot going on up there, so let’s take one stick of dynamite and toss it at the wall.
In honor of 2022’s best new TV show, “The Bear,” I am going to really “let it rip” here.
Hey, bad drivers: You are IT!
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Seriously, let’s skip the standard “drive slower and use your blinker” notion here, and just go straight for the jugular. Try finding some common sense, the small corridor of luxury that sits across the fucking Mississippi River from most people driving around my city.
Yes, my city! I’ve lived here for 98% of my life. I didn’t do the math, so just trust me. It doesn’t matter which day you drive, or when you choose to abandon the Chuck McGill idea and just stay home wrapped in tin foil. It’s awful out there. Trashy cars going too fast, banging their trunk on the concrete to their last oil change falling under the same six month bracket of the birth of their six-year-old kid.
Behind you is antsy Nancy, racing to get little Jimmy from his karate practice, and this is after the principal compared his spring quarter’s behavior to a young, angry John Wick. John was already angry, so that’s alarming. But antsy Nancy doesn’t care; that’s her little tower of joy.
After you shed those two, a few more asshat drivers come on. It’s endless, nauseating, and leaves one thinking about what they can get away with--at least in their minds.
I’m no angel on the road, but I can mix in with the flow and be courteous to my fellow driver. Sometimes, I drive like a mad Dom Toretto, but it’s becoming slightly less frequent. My mood is like rain in August here in the Lou: putting you in a warning zone or nonexistent. But I push it down behind the wheel and navigate around bad drivers.
You know them. They don’t just drive fast; they make weaving down a small two-way street look extra illegal. They roar the engine for no reason, speed up on you as you’re making a turn, and generally irritate every other person out there-even the very slow-driving older souls.
The idea is to make it home alive, so why is everyone in a rush? Three important, quick tips before I jet to the roads myself.
1) It’s a speed limit, not a starting point.
2) Merging requires using a blinker.
3) Slow the fuck down.
Goodnight and have a nice weekend, subscribers or Ramble On freeloaders.