Breathalyzers for all: Imagining a future without drunk drivers

Johnny and Matthew Gaudreau are gone due to one stupid drunk driver.

In the future, possibly too far down the road to imagine, nobody will be able to turn on a car on before doing a breathalyzer test is passed. An in car test. Past issues or a lack thereof won’t matter; just breathe into the machine next to your dashboard, because there’s a first time for every kind of stupidity. No driving or anything will happen before that test is done. This is the way, a path forward that will lead to less people dying at the hands of someone who couldn’t practice self-control.

Columbus Blue Jackets star forward Johnny Gaudreau and his brother Matthew were killed yesterday in a freak accident while riding their bikes in their New Jersey hometown by a drunk driver. The motorist went around two vehicles in a lane and struck the brothers, killing them both. They were cycling along the road, and most likely were clipped or hit completely by someone who couldn’t drive slower or safer. One guy, Sean Higgins, made the ultimate mistake. There’s no other complex reasoning behind it, just a single dumbass at work. He drank too much, but wanted to make things worse by illegally passing two cars. Sean couldn’t find an Uber I guess. He had no friends or family to pick him up. Nobody could help the guy, so he got behind the wheel and did the worst thing. The Gaudreau family has been shattered, with the collateral damage of a single stupid mistake reaching ages young and old.

Gaudreau, nicknamed “Johnny Hockey” in his hometown, had a wife and two young kids, one a baby. He was 31, and Matthew was 29. Their sister was going to be married today, and the brothers were set to be groomsmen. The parents were set for a day of love and matrimony, and now they have to start the process of burying two sons. All due to the folly and idiocy of one man named Sean.

If Sean never gets behind the wheel, Johnny and Matthew are alive and well right now. A simple fact that will be the hardest thing swallow in this ordeal outside of the mortal loss. They’d be putting their tuxes right now, and life would be flowing forward. A harmless bike ride would be a cool memory for Johnny and Matthew, not the last thing they ever did. The fact that they most likely didn’t see it coming is another awful rumination that won’t soon leave the mind. It’s something I think of every time I’m on a scooter or running down a road that has heavy traffic coming up behind someone outside of a vehicle.

What if Sean couldn’t take the fateful drive due to failing a breathalyzer? He has to be asking himself that all day, because he did something so bad that it’ll stick to the rest of his days like pigs on shit. The car would have disabled instantly for 12 hours after the fail. You’re basically locked out of the car for half a day. For the crummy souls who will use their kid to take the test, DNA recognition software will be included. Maybe a retina scan just for shits and grins, otherwise years and life.

Anything to keep honest people alive, even ones not related to you or in your mindset. I hadn’t thought about Gaudreau since the days leading up to his move from Calgary to Columbus. The market was geared towards defensemen, and he cashed in. The hometown New Jersey native making good on being the talk of the town.

That town is now forever changed, too. The poster boy died at the hands of a drunk driver in town limits, in a spot that will be eternally marked by tragedy. His wife and young kids will go back there for family occasions, but it’ll be harder than Navy Seal boot camp. A place drenched in tragedy caused by one fucking mistake.

Some mistakes aren’t fatal. Heck, a lot of them are easy to fix. Do it again, and be better next time. Drinking excessively and getting behind the wheel is something 95% of us have done at least once in our life. It’s the repeating aspect of drinking and driving that can kill. Sean, an asshat I call by first name because his stink is a common stench around any city, has done this more than once or twice.

What a waste. He’ll live on, and two Gaudreau men are gone forever. The cruelty of life showing up to remind the masses that you don’t have complete control of your life once you leave the house.

I know the breathalyzer idea won’t come to fruition. People protect their freedom in this country like a mother protects her first born. They won’t give up their guns, and they won’t be subject to a test that could reveal them to be less than sincere behind the wheel-as in officially stupid, vehicular wise. It makes sense, getting into your car and breathing into a tube that pops out with the push of a button or lever pull. It would be expensive, but so productive.

If not, the stigma around Uber and Lyft usage needs to drop. This unwritten yet very visible opposition to riding with a stranger. Yes, any movie or true story Netflix series will remind one to be safe around strangers, but the list of Uber drivers turned kidnappers pales heavily in comparison to the list of drunk driving victims.

Parents without sons. A wife without a husband. A sister without brothers. A family permanently incomplete.

Rest in peace, Gaudreau boys.

Get fucked permanently, Mr. Higgins. I hope the rest of your life is slow and agonizing, like the grief you left behind.

Photo Credit: RICHARD GAGNON/GETTY