South City Confessions: A Starbucks gripe
Let's talk about something that bothers me.
Before I launch into a whole blown tirade about the most extensive commercial coffee chain known to mankind, allow me to admit that I am a bit of a Starbucks bitch. In other words, I spend way too much money there. Dollar bills that could go to more prestigious cases get dumped on cups of steamed milk and espresso made with care by a barista who averages more lattes per hour than Jordan Walker could ever imagine averaging with hits.
When I go all out, it’s a Flat White with an extra shot of espresso. It’s a drink that comes out to $7.72, an outrageous amount that would cause tight spenders to clinch their assholes at the mere mention of existence. While some spend cash on this or that, I spend too much at Starbucks. While I am a K-Cup fan and will slurp a pot of potent coffee until noon, I crave a well-made latte with a decent stride in its step. So, allow me to put all of this out there before pushing out my biggest gripe with the billion-dollar company.
It’s simple. Lately, they are reluctant to put a sleeve on their scalding hot cups of overpriced coffee. You’ll usually find your mobile order to go or a drive-through handoff comes to you without a protective sleeve. Before we weigh toughness factors, let’s point out that even the most weathered soul would find a freshly made specialty drink uncomfortable to the skin. They don’t make cups that can withstand above-average lava temperatures, so it’ll tell you whether there’s a complaint.
It’s not too hard or taxing for Starbucks to include a cardboard/thick paper sleeve. I don’t want to hear about rising prices and shipping problems when their prices only continue to increase each quarter. It’s not something I would expect Mobil on the Run or Shell to include with their cups of coffee, even if the cups are more durable than Starbucks. It's hard to whine about accessories when the thing doesn’t cost more than two gallons of gas.
Starbucks doesn’t get that luxury of acceptance. They should add every bit of extra to the outrageous cost. One could argue that spending less there is a healthy option, but an addiction settles in and doesn’t exactly move out. When it’s not gambling or drinking bottles of whiskey in a short time, those addictions are treated with more delicate gloves. They’re like Cousin Eddie in the Lampoons movies: Easy to arrive, harder to go.
Save your “reduce waste” arguments, because I don’t give a damn. There are countless ways to save the Earth. Burning my fingertips as I hold a high-priced cup of java doesn’t have to be one of them. Move your soapbox somewhere else, please.
The last thing you want to do with a fool like me who spends way too much of his hard-earned money on fancy coffee is piss him off by skimping on the small things like a cup sleeve. That’s all the confessions from a South City native that are fit to print.
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