The Film Buffa Report: ‘Den of Thieves’ returns, ‘Terminator’ hot take, and 'The Penguin' emerges
A potpourri of movie and television show topics are discussed.
I have an idea for a new vacation, time away that can take place anywhere. All one needs is a good sized television and computer and/or laptop to write reviews, and perhaps a fine supply of food and drink. Maybe a rotating mac and cheese bar, but who’s counting? This would be rented out by film critics near the end of the year when a boatload of movie screeners come dropping into their laps, or mailboxes. We’re right about at the witching hour for the people who get advance access to new releases. Sort of like saying, “nice work, now please point out the best!”
It’s almost that time of year where the movies start tumbling into the collection of discs that have gathered over the years. It’s a euphoria that can bring on sudden panic and stress. The thing that keeps pulling me back in. I remember in 2017 when the first batch came in, and the feeling of legitimacy sinking in. Everyone who gets on the internet to write has to endure many years of rejection, refinement, or just time to get to a good spot.
Movie studios know that critics can’t get to every screening throughout the year, so they send out mailers to consume before November and December voting starts. All in the hopes of being considered for awards. Certain films get an easy yes or no, but so many others sit inside the bubble of viewing and consideration. That’s a lot of cash going towards an endeavor that basically says, “how good do I look?”
The twist with the getaway film critic screening crunch vacation would be that only ONE critic is allowed to rent the house. Extra souls aren’t needed, as in two of the same kind. It’s like if Wolfs took place in real life, but there’d be no jazzy thriller subplot that carried the whole thing home. No, instead, there’d be an utter collision of organic-thought regulating that could become miserable very fast.
The last thing anyone needs as they try to cram all of these flicks into their head is another person or a group of people telling you how to feel about a movie that you just ran through all your internal bullshit. I understand the need and existence of it, but staying away from it is (or at least until after your review morphs) best.
It’s problematic to come up with a take when Joe Schmo wants you to articulate why a film is good or bad. Some movies do take time to marinate, going from good to great or alright to actually quite bad. First, you have to conjure up a take that can’t wait, because you have another movie to watch soon after. Second, there’s some other reviewer throwing tests and quarries your way. No thanks, so this would be a solo vacation spot.
Wives, husbands, and friends are optional, as long as they don’t disturb the task at hand. Any husband knows that if one movie gets watched at home in a single evening, Houdini lives next door. It has to be negotiated and there will only be one movie being viewed. At this Airbnb hopefully tucked away somewhere cold and cozy, 4-5 movies or more are being watched. There’s zero time for bullshit: walks, trail jogs, errands, or whatever. Forget it. Touch PLAY and get out of the way.
That’s my idea of a pristine and useful vacation. Who needs sand and beaches when you have cinema?! Get your mind right, bring plenty of food, and some trustworthy blankets. My idea of a good time is basic. You don’t need extra glitz or glamour with me. Give me a coat, somewhere cold, and a remote to hit play on the DVD (they are still DVD discs sent out).
Anyway, let’s talk about what’s going on with previews, upcoming movies, and ones I’ve seen in the past that need more love. Baseball may be dying a slow death, but the movies are always around.
Previews are great. My best friend, Eric, once made me a sizzle reel of all legendary previews stitched together. They can be catnip for a movie lover, but only if they don’t spoil the entire movie before the credits can start upon its release. Too many new or upcoming movies give it all away. Speak No Evil, the remake, showed you 2/3 of the whole thing in its 130 second trailer. Others will reveal key plot points or just pour out most of the pancake batter before an actual minute of the actual movie is played.
The new trailer for Den of Thieves 2: Pantera, showed you just enough without spoiling everything. It gave you a big olive in the middle of the first trailer, but didn’t crack every single egg within reach. They showed a key plot point, sure, but not enough to take away the interest from Christian Gudegast’s follow up to his 2017 cops and robbers action gambit. It was a highly entertaining movie, built to last and carrying Gerald Butler’s finest performance.
A movie that surprised people with its precision and attention to detail, even this guy who saw it after it left theaters. It’s a red meat version of Heat, all the way down to the two crews going head to head in Los Angeles. (The movie isn’t filmed in LA, but the look isn’t far off.) Pablo Schreiber, O’Shea Jackson, and 50 Cent rounded out a deep bench, and the big shootout came in the beginning and the very end.
But there was a twist that kept the door open for a sequel. Jackson, son of Ice Cube, got away from the cops (Butler’s crew) in the end after Schreiber’s *supposed* top dog thug was gunned down following the highway gun battle. An industry pal of mine said the filming for the shootout was long and epic.
Pantera looks to take the same recipe, throw another wrinkle into it, and see entertainment emerge. Butler’s Big Nick heads to London looking for Jackson’s thief. It’ll be big, boisterous, and relentless; ingredients that make a fine action thriller.
Den of Thieves is available for $2 on Prime Video. Switch that device to Max, and click play on The Penguin. Lauren Lefranc’s story picks up after the finale of Matt Reeves’ The Batman. A city in ruins lays the treasures for many treacherous souls willing to chase the abyss into the water. Colin Farrell, truly as you’ve never seen him before, gives the performance of a lifetime as Oswald “Oz” Cobb, the gangster who starts trekking towards becoming a mob kingpin.
The first episode showed up early last week, but the Sunday series will be dished out in episodic doses. For all the Netflix and Hulu dump-it-all platforms, Max retains its HBO genes with the move to make each weekend extra special instead of drowning them in 10-12 hours at once. Let. It. Marinate!
Episode 1 could have taken a turn down a boring path near the midway point as it followed Cobb in a day of the life following a city-wide meltdown and flooding. It’s Cristin Milioti’s Sophia Falcone who shows up to spice up the tale, challenging Cobb and putting everyone on notice following a death (or two?) in the family. It’s good entertainment with nine more rounds left in its gun.
Count me in so far. Farrell conveys so much even with a little, and we can never have too much Ann Dowd.
The last chunk of commentary at this buffet will reaffirm my love for Tim Miller’s Terminator: Dark Fate. James Cameron was a producer, story consultant, and pretty much a watchful eye over the entire production. He proudly erased the follow-up films following his *still* amazing Judgement Day, and helped create 2019’s Dark Fate. It brought back Linda Hamilton, and gave good usage to Arnold Schwarzenegger’s old fashioned robot.
Cameron and Miller also threw a curveball at Terminator fans by *SPOILER ALERT* killing young John Connor. Picking up soon after T2, the tale found another T-800 going after Sarah and John at a beach resort, and succeeding for a change.
Dark Fate throws three female heroines together with Arnold’s machine, taking on Gabriel Luna’s changeup on the T-1000, the Rev-9, in a nonstop dash across the country. Natalie Reyes’ Dani Ramos was the key to the future coming together, and the Rev-9’s mission is to bring it down.
The special effects, action, sly uses of humor, and all-around refinement of the original two films was a blast. I walked in expecting another attempt at Cameron’s achievements, and coming up short. Genesis doesn’t sit as well as it used to, and Salvation should never exist. Dark Fate took an old muscle car, and made it sexy again for a couple hours. Cameron did note, though, that the revitalization of an old thrill wasn’t what fans wanted.
Well, I sure approved. I wanted more time with Schwarzenegger’s Carl, who sold drapes. Now, back to this daydream of mine where I land in a cool-looking getaway lodge/house/loft/whatever, and just binge the movies I couldn’t find time for earlier in the year. Cram, slam, drown, rinse, lather, repeat, etc.
Thanks for reading.