The Rant: Blues find footing under Monty, The Family Stone goodness, and City SC hires a good beard

Let's empty the tank on Black Friday, when people spend money they don't have on things they don't need.

Thanksgiving comes and goes, like a hurricane of chaos, food, and unnecessary family advice. The last part comes in droves throughout the evening, from current events and appetizers to main courses and multiple corrections. Young parents think they know it all after a couple of years; they give other young parents unsolicited advice because they haven’t screwed everything up yet.

It’s times like these that we learn to eat again, and a good rant filters a Black Friday down to normal levels of anxiety and substance. So, let’s get into it as the clock nears noon. The rules for a rant are simple: There are none. The numbered lists, one topic dimensions, and all other orderly article habits are thrown out the window. A relentless barrage of prose strikes until I run out of time or bullets.

How about those St. Louis Blues? After just two games under Jim Montgomery, they’re 2-0 with a restored sense of purpose. Climbing over the .500 mark was as easy as playing a couple decent games in a row. Sure, the Drew Bannister era started out 5-2, and finished well enough to earn over 90 points. But these Blues look polished and hungry, clearing the zone and attacking the offensive corners like there’s a plan in place.

Monty doesn’t play the games, but he has a special connection with the Blues and multiple players. A guy like Pavel Buchnevich will buy in hard now with a leader who gets his abilities, but that kind of confidence flows through the entire roster. Jordan Binnington wasn’t having a bad season by any means, carrying an inflated G.A.A. due to a bombing from the Capitals. But he has been sharper over the last two games, claiming his first shutout of the season and the team’s first since Oct. 17.

Can they keep it up? Are the playoffs more realistic with Monty in place? I’d say yes to each question, even if the former doesn’t always result in wins. Instead of being flat and seemingly unprepared to attack a team, the Blues are hitting it right off the first faceoff.

Home For The Holidays is an under-appreciated holiday movie, and so is The Family Stone. Released to little theatrical fanfare in 2005, the main stars were Sarah Jessica Parker and anxiety--but that was the film’s secret weapon. Like Jodie Foster’s previously mentioned Holidays, it ripped straight into the unshakable foundation of anxiety that sneaks up on people this time of year.

Parker plays the new girlfriend to Dermot Mulroney’s beloved momma’s boy, and she’s the complete opposite vibe of Diane Keaton and Craig T. Nelson’s family. Uptight and superficial at first, she gets viper eyes from Mulroney’s sister, played by Rachel McAdams. Thousands of families and outsiders (aka new boyfriends/girlfriends) understand this setup well; a first line of defense to getting to know everyone.

Over the course of a crisply paced running time, Parker’s wound-up career woman melts, and in turn melts the family’s defenses. Luke Wilson has a great part as the wacky brother of the family who takes a liking to the new girl in town. The film hits hard emotionally in the end, due to a great script delivering organic humor. The Family Stone is the kind of out-of-nowhere movie that gives well-known faces a role that they can disappear in. After a few scenes, they don’t seem like actors anymore.

It’s free on Prime, so go enjoy this one if you missed it, or again if it’s been awhile.

The St. Louis Cardinals are reportedly hanging onto the other pricey veterans not named Nolan Arenado, which would mean Sonny Gray and Willson Contreras will remain Redbirds. They were the ones that gave their wishes to John Mozeliak, while Arenado and even Miles Mikolas stated their openness to a trade. You don’t want to seem like the teammate that wanted to jump ship, but the process of business can be handled in a classy manner.

Arenado heading out is still more unlikely than likely, due in most part to a high price tag and declining offensively. However, he did finish 2024 with a 2.5 WAR, which isn’t awful for a down year. He brought his defense up a few notches from a disappointing 2023 performance. A great defensive third baseman who can hit some isn’t a bad add for a team, but St. Louis needs salary coming back their way to make it a solid transaction.

Baseball is a little over four months away from playing regular season games again, and the most interesting question will be how different the Cardinals look. All I want is an entertaining team. Young guns, some older hands, and a mix that creates fundamentally exciting baseball will do just fine. Go back to the basics, tear it all down, and get the operation working smoothly.

Just give us entertaining baseball. That’s why we’re tuning into your product. Don’t bore us. There’s plenty of awards film drainage for boredom.

The City SC signed a few new players and hired a new head coach named Olof Mellberg, but don’t expect me to fill you in on these new hires. I’m not even on the bandwagon, because it would be half-bullshit to suggest to you that I know much about these players and the team. My good friend, Paddy Houlihan, will tell you everything there is to know about the MLS team and other local soccer teams. He knows it like I know Heat.

Then again, I felt it was necessary to inform you on what’s happening down there by the giant Ferris Wheel with see-through glass. Being a part-time sportswriter, it’s my duty to tell you these things. The new head coach has a nice beard, I’ll give you that. A beard that will be combed, rubbed, flipped, and curled as he figures out a way for City SC to find their way back to the promised land.

The Gray Man is always a threat for me to hit play on when Netflix is on my television. 50% of critics liked it, but I loved it. Ryan Gosling plays a Bond-type assassin who finds himself under fire after a missed hit, and none other than Captain America of Boston himself, Chris Evans, is the one chasing him down. Ana de Armas and Stephanie Hsu also kick ass in this Russo Brothers joint. Like the Extraction films, it’s a well-done, action-drunk enterprise of entertainment. No preaching, just actors who bought into the cheese and plenty of laughs to mix in with the bullets. As Evans’ villain says after wielding a knife in a fist fight, “this movie fucks.”

Here’s a few people, groups, and things I’d like to toss in the air and kick downfield:

~The hard brake pedal pushers who make a turn with you on their tail. They’re going extra slow, love their brakes, and can’t wait to make a sudden stop. This morning, a woman pumped them hard, made the turn, and smiled at me as she turned into a gas station lot. So, I turned around and went back to that lot to fill up. I made eye contact twice, and got nothing in return. Don’t be an asshat out there, folks. I drive a truck now. If you’re disorderly, I’ll tow your tiny car away.

~Film critics who refuse to put a perfect action film on their awards ballots. Rebel Ridge carries a 96% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and is nationally beloved. However, those same film critics who wrote darling notes on it back during its summer release will feel hard-pressed to nominate it in the beefier main categories. That’s because the majority of critics feel embarrassed to give major kudos to an action flick or comedy. It’s against the rules, I guess. They suck. Rebel Ridge and My Old Ass are in my top five. Suck it, snarky ones.

~I don’t need any other Star Wars films or shows, but they keep coming. For every Andor, we get a handful of decent “say no next time” events. What more can be explored in a universe that largely stands out as overrated, and carries the whiniest of followers? Cancel all this bullshit. Watch Rogue One, the original three S.W. films, and Andor. Parts of the Mandolorian for sure, but not the whole thing.

~To the people in residential neighborhoods who can’t help but watch the delivery guy perform difficult tasks: keep walking, or go back inside. Come over and say hello, maybe. Don’t give me the steeliest of looks because your neighbor upgraded their plumbing. As I tell the dogwalkers who take their sweet time going by my yard with a large pit bull inside of it, just keep moving.

~One more time to the people in this universe: When merging onto the highway, reach the desired speed before you try to suddenly barge into a lane. Get off your phone and focus, because no one out there really wants to speak with you that badly. Use the runway to find the right speed, and then MERGE on into it. Simple enough. If this plumbing supply career somehow fails, I’ll just teach people how to drive. If I can maneuver a box truck down the same lane you’re escorting a Prius, you can do better.

That’s all. Enjoy your leftovers.