Things I Know: Demi Moore deserves all the awards

Nolan Arenado likes Boston, sledding carries hazards, and Vince Vaughn sells a bad apple very well.

While St. Louis freezes over again, let’s discuss a few things I know. Usually a five count, the list grew as the day grew longer thanks to an unexpected snow day. In life, it’s better to go with the flow instead of standing in front of the tide. Let’s get into it. File all of your grammar and punctuation complaints with my secretary, Leeroy. These paragraphs will be chunky.

~Sledding for the first time today in a good amount of years, and the dangers are still the same. Every time I head downhill, there are 3-5 kids ready to be taken out. Young future minds who “don’t know any better,” yet they stare me down as they climb up the hill at the pace of a snail. The truth is they know our situation is compromised due to their presumed innocence. Half of the kids these days near a good sled to take out their feet so a lesson is learned. Since the world has gone soft, I regressed and finished with some energy left in the tank.

~Good for you, Demi Moore. The actress took home her first award after 45 years in the industry last night at the Golden Globes for The Substance. The horror drama was bizarre and got carried away in the third act, but Moore made it work and count. Playing an aging starlet who takes a magic pill to literally peel off the years, she gave an award-worthy performance. Some real life passion was inserted into the role. Moore talked about being told early on by executives that she wasn’t going to have a chance to win awards and must have felt like being told your body isn’t good enough anymore sounded pretty close to the bullseye. There’s too many toxic, child-like men in our existence who created this stigma. Kudos to Moore for breaking it down. I hope she wins the Oscar too.

~Tom Holland and Zendaya are engaged and you’re probably thinking, “why does this matter?” Well, Hollywood produces plenty of courtships and promptly spits many of them out. Most of them seem artificial or doomed from the jump. Some endure. Since they’ve been together for quite some time and had the charm of meeting on set, something tells me these two will stick together. They’re cute, are surging together in their careers at once and on the same level, and are ridiculously young. People say yes to love so often because the idea of happily ever after lives and breathes on having someone in your corner.

~Some actors make otherwise ridiculous shows watchable and entertaining. Count Apple TV’s Bad Monkey as a fine example of this theory. Vince Vaughn plays a washed out detective in Florida who gets a whiff of wrongdoings and tries to win back his job with some private investigator work. Natalie Martinez and John Ortiz are good, but the show works well due to Vaughn’s energy and ability to pull wit out of any batch of dialogue. It could have shed 2-3 episodes from its ten episode count, but it does improve story wise with each hour. If Vaughn has a role that gives him the freedom to use his comic gifts, the movie or show will be good.

~Nolan Arenado likes the idea of being a Boston Red Sox. St. Louis Cardinals beat reporter John Denton reported that the third baseman would be willing to waive his no trade clause in a deal with Boston. Unless they go all in on Alex Bregman, John Mozeliak should be able to put something together that delivers a resurgent-hungry Arenado to a team that hasn’t made the playoffs in a few years. Boston has seen less playoff juice than St. Louis lately, but I guess he likes the fit. They finished with 81 wins in 2024, which is three more than the total of their previous two seasons. The home run happy nature of the surroundings and clam chowder must be terrific. At this point, he really needs to go. If he sticks around, it creates more of a logjam. Get it done, Mo. Make it your exit move.

~Pissing off Chris Pronger, whether he’s on skates or not, isn’t a wise practice for long-term health. Uber is testing the man’s patience. It seems like they keep sending the former St. Louis Blues defenseman (and one of the best to ever do it) small cars. When the man requests an SUV, give the man something with leg room. He didn’t shrink after his playing days. The dude is a well-spoken, social media connected former athlete with a unique brand of meanness that can still be unlocked. Save me your “he’s a well paid athlete” responses. Every time they get canned for DUI or DWI, we ask why an Uber wasn’t called. Don’t do Prongs dirty!

~I’ve enjoyed a healthy dose of action films from the 80s and 90s lately. Mel Gibson, Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger ruled most of that roost back then with a few exceptions. Out of them all, Arnold owns the lot. He’s the king. Stallone is the better actor and Bruno didn’t need the muscle, but Schwarzenegger was the most authentic with the one liners and brute force. You could actually believe plowing through a room (or compound) of bad guys while spitting out comic relief. I don’t think the other guys could hang a guy over a cliff and make a joke about gravity being the greatest threat. The big Austrian had IT. He held onto it for a while, too. I recommend an action subscription of Commando and Raw Deal with a side order of The Last Stand for your snow week troubles.

~People are still naturally stupid with bad weather. One of the only reasons I went sledding today is due to the fact that I have a four wheel drive-powered truck. A Dodge Ram with some push can handle streets with snow and some ice welded together. Other people without SUV or 4WD tried to make the trip out, and didn’t get far from their parking spot. Driving down Hampton Avenue gave sight to at least three cars stuck on the side of roads, blocking driveways to businesses and parking lots. At the park, a man right next to us in a car more tailored for the Fast and Furious was spinning out. When the cops and first responders tell you to stay home because it’s not safe for small vehicles, they’re not kidding.

People, though, are either hard-headed or flat out dumb. You don’t have to be out there seen by others on IG. Stay home. You don’t have to go sledding if your car isn’t fit. Stay home and warm. Walking down the middle of a street so you can get your steps in isn’t wise. Stay home.

Ah, people. Once again, the aliens will just keep going. Thanks for reading and goodnight.