Tossing bad umpires: The one way Rob Manfred can be a hero
Getting rid of Angel Hernandez and CB Bucknor would be a crowd-pleasing move, Robert.
If you ask me, an umpire should exit the game in the same manner that he sends managers to an early exit: getting tossed. Okay, maybe not all umpires. Maybe just Angel Hernandez and CB Bucknor. Two for one deal, something that helps the game grow and makes fans happy.
Let’s be honest, they both stink. Once upon a time, in a season long ago, they could have been good game-callers. These days, it’s like watching Ray Lankford bat with a bad knee. Painful is one way to describe their strike zone recognition, but hard-to-bear is the best. Less than a month into the season, they’ve experienced the worst umpiring in decades.
According to Codify and needing at least three games minimum to qualify, Bucknor has missed 70 calls in five games and Hernandez has missed 67 calls in five games. Ten combined games umpired, they’ve been unable to identify a proper strike on 137 different occasions. That’s what you’d see on a rookie umpire grade sheet in the minor leagues.
They’re so bad at calling balls and strikes, yet they love taking their mask off for the cameras to get a clean shot of their face. That’s more important than deciding the difference in an at-bat. Hitters are tearing up juiced baseballs at the moment, so getting the calls right behind the plate could flip a game on its head. Sometimes, I wonder if the system of deciding when an umpire is finished needs to be updated.
Why haven’t a tribunal or group of much older and wiser umpires come together and decided it’s bad for their reputation if a guy is showing his face more often than getting a crucial call correct? Umpires should be shadows, ghosts on the field who make the calls yet stay out of the action. Instant replay does put your ability on a pedestal. But these are the big leagues, a place where everyone on the field in uniform should feel some pressure to get it right.
Major League umpires should be under review more often, just like anyone else in life working a job. If they are being reviewed, it’s a bad process that lets the awful dinosaurs roam meaningful games every summer. It’s like bypassing a fitness test for a cop, when he/she/they are the last line of defense in a dangerous situation. Don’t skip the process.
Rob Manfred can be a hero. If the commissioner doesn’t have the ability to decide when a decision-maker on a baseball field’s time is up, and has been up for a good while, then that process and rulebook also needs to change. Fire them, Robert. Instead of fucking with a great game, clean up your officials. Imagine an NHL ref missing 70 tripping calls in a game, or an NBA ref just missing 67 charges.
Or, just let artificial intelligence step onto the dirt and have a robotic strike zone separate the boys from the men in this game. Mr. Manfred can step in or alert someone under his command that it’s time to toss Bucknor and Hernandez-which sounds like a lame law firm that only works on McDonald’s liability cases-from the game they are hurting each time a pitcher starts throwing in their direction.
Do it live, too. Walk onto the field during a live MLB Network feed, and just toss them from the game. Drop a book, pee on it, point towards the exits, and say something cool. There’s also the version where you just toss them. Let fans witness the exodus.
Just an idea. Have a good Tuesday. Don’t let the ruminations and machinations of the day get in your way of a good time, whether that’s on the job or at home folding all of those shirts. While you finish up that load, remember that you do your job so much better than CB Bucknor and Angel Hernandez.