Uber Tales: One of the original 3 a.m. St. Louis bars scheduled for demolition

Mike Talayna's Jukebox Bar closed years ago after the pandemic shut many places down, but it holds plenty of memories for this ex-Uber driver.

When I drove for Uber during the time period of 2017-2020, there were about three legit 3 a.m. bars that represented the end of the line for partygoers. It was either get food somewhere, go to a friend’s house, or go home. Everything started by getting into, or falling into, my car. I was the guy who transported many souls from those last call shacks to their final resting spot for the early morning.

Those three places were Wheelhouse, Tin Roof, and Mike Talayna’s Jukebox Restaurant. The former two are still up and running, even staying open to the wee hours of the morning. The last one will be demolished this month. Located right before Interstate 64 at 1115 Hampton Avenue, Mike Talayna’s was a small yet popular spot to start or finish the evening.

Walking into it was like stepping off a spacecraft into another dimension. The inside was stuffed with tight spots, bright strobe lights, and a warmth that made any amount of layers feel suffocating after a few minutes. Any Bruce Lee fan could easily imagine an Enter the Dragon scene unfolding inside the venue with all of those surrounding mirrors.

Of course, I was rarely a patron and more of a lurking car looking for revenue. Drivers would curl into the parking lot from Clayton Road, which extended past Skinker down the side of Dogtown and the highway alongside Talayna’s for a backdoor entrance. The lot was tighter than inside, making it hard for Uber drivers like myself to hang around waiting for too long. Between 2:55 and 3 a.m. dozens of people would plow out of the front door looking for license plates and a frame of mind.

Most people who climbed into my Hyundai Elantra were passed out before we reached the highway or too drunk to form sentences. Music would be blared, voices would turn into screams, and the miles couldn’t bleed away fast enough. It wasn’t like picking a pair of couples from a Tower Grove house where gaming, snacks, and drinks took place. These people were beyond wasted, hovering on the boozy corner of Mars and Neptune in their barley ecosystem. Going into Talayna’s wasn’t for the freshmen of consumption. Conversation wasn’t exactly on the menu, at least nothing they’d remember.

Women were touchy and men just stared out the window until the fresh air hit their faces. Talayna’s never got great reviews from people leaving, but they were bound to end up there again next weekend. With Soulard closing down earlier than most and downtown late night bars posing more risk than a location that was a slingshot from the Zoo, the Jukebox bar wasn’t loved for its looks or interior updates. It was a timeless powder keg of good times.

This year, a final song will be played on the Jukebox Bar and it might be Sting singing “Demolition Man.” The lot has been quiet for years now, the building a pale impersonation of a former hot spot. The pandemic shuttered a lot of things in 2020 during its initial spread, including restaurants and clubs. Uber became a scratch post for hundreds of drivers searching for rides and revenue. For me at least, it dried up.

Thanks, Talayna’s Jukebox Bar. I may worship your pizza more than the bar, but you gave St. Louisans a place to forget, escape, dance, and most definitely hook up. Now, it can comfortably turn into a car wash. The circle of life is a swift one.